When I started The T Hive I was very clear about my intention for the company, and the work I wanted to do with it. I was much less sure about how I wanted to talk about it and share it with the world.
I did the work for a while before I created a website, and when I finally decided to do it I agonized and obsessed over it. It took me months, working with a dear friend - nobody else would have put up with me, to get the company branding and design just right. Once completed I spent several more months finding the right person to build the website.
Why am I sharing this? Well, I’ve realized the best way to do this work is by always being 100% real. I’m not here to bring you toxic positivity, or to pretend like I have it all figured out. When I took the leap to more widely share this business I became deeply stuck in perfectionism, which led to some pretty dire procrastination. Writing the copy was delayed until the very last moment, and all of it felt incredibly fraught. This is something I’d coached many others through, but I couldn’t get myself to take the next steps until my back was against the wall. The thought of publicly announcing who I am, and what I was offering I began to feel like the walls were closing in around me.
Once the website was finally up I slow rolled it; only sharing it with a few trusted friends. Mainly the reception was positive, and “that’s so you.” When I did receive feedback that was critical, although meant with the full intention of support, it was deeply upsetting and made me hold back on announcing the launch. If I didn’t want to fully celebrate and shout out the two women who had made it possible I might not have ever fully put it out there in the world.
Recently there has been a lull in my output on this section of the site, but I’m grateful it’s not from the procrastinating perfectionist place, but from a place of deep thought and reflection. This Chronicle took almost 18 months to launch once the site was live. I always knew I wanted it to be here, and it was always intended to be an archive of the work and a place to reflect on it. That did not make it any easier to get it done, and once I committed to it there was a sense of freedom and relief. I knew it was right, so I was much more open about announcing it. To do that required that I let go of fear and worry of how I am seen in the world, and instead choose to declare things and let them have relative permanence.
The work that I did both internally and externally in between the launch of this site and starting The Chronicle was hugely illuminating. What became evident is that I’ve chosen this particular niche of supporting artists, creatives, and entrepreneurs because not only do I believe they are so vitally important to humanity, but at the end of the day I can now acknowledge I am also one of them. Having lived through the imposter syndrome, the procrastination, the fear of putting myself out there allowed space for clarity to arrive. An aha moment.
It all starts with the voice.
I don’t mean the sound that comes out of the mouth, but I refer to the opinion and attitude of expression. Those who create and found, for better or worse, are saying something. This happens with varying degrees of intention, but no matter what something is being said. It’s exposing, and takes a great deal of self-belief and inner knowing to not let how that creation, invention, or work is received effect you. To persevere and trust that what you offer is worthwhile only comes when you are operating from your truth.
This truth is the voice in the soul that will not be quieted, and has something that must be shared. I only became clear on what I wanted to say when I truly understood how I wanted to feel. It’s now a practice I share with my clients, and something that I find vital for younger artists, creators and first-time founders. I think of the soul as source code in the operating system that is us. That place where motivation, purpose, and inspiration stems. When you’re a creator sharing and producing from this place it resonates.
With now over 8 billion people on the planet there are enough fans, clients, consumers for all of us. Our work is to understand how we want to feel ourselves, so we can understand what we want to say, and ultimately how we want to reach, connect with, and make others feel. In doing this we shed the idea of being perfect, approval seeking from our creations, and worry about what others think of us and what we are doing.
I’ve recently had quite a few people reach out to me, and let me know they are reading what I drop in this space. Thank you for reading, and I hope this space continues to be a place of support and inspiration. If you are an artist or creator struggling with what’s next I make you this offer - connect to how you want to feel. This is the first step in feeding our soul, and your truth won’t be able to help rising up. As it rises, what you want to say will also come.
I would also like to commit to only writing in this space when I have something I want to say. Something true that I think will support and be for the benefit of you. I don’t intend to take month long hiatuses moving forward, but I won’t say it won’t happen again. Right now, my soul is feeling quite nourished, and I am looking forward to sharing more of its truth with you all.
I invite you to spend some time exploring – How do you want to feel? What do you want to say? Is there truth you’re leaving unshared. You never know how the world might be impacted hearing from you.
As always, I love hearing from you. Click over to the Connect page and send me a message, or feel free to leave a comment below.
Until next time!
Thumbnail image Patrick Fore on Unsplash